23-year-old college graduate books European backpacking trip behind entitled friend's back after she stalls trip planning and tries to change entire itinerary

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Mar 24, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

College graduates have a lot to look forward to… like adulthood after school! Forget skipping lectures and partying at the dive bar downtown, you now get to cubicle rot in a 4x5 until the end of time! Woohoo! Yeah… College graduates often go for one last hurrah before the real world swallows them whole. Some decide to book an all-inclusive resort, others want to get crafty and go on a solo backpacking trip through Europe. The 23-year-old woman in this next story chooses the latter. However, there's a bit of a problem—her friend wants to go, too. Ok, fine.

This friend, though, is incapable of planning. She stalls and refuses to go by the boundaries the woman set for the trip. So, soon after the woman realizes her trip will no longer be the trip she dreamt it would be, she books the trip without her friend. It was supposed to be a solo endeavor to begin with, and her friend was in no rush, so…

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  • One shouldn't compromise their finances or their dreams because of another person's selfishness. That's what the woman in this story refused to let happen. Sure, she could've given her friend a heads-up before booking the hotels, flights, and trains… but the friend had more than enough time to step up and help her. The friend's inability to stick to a schedule, follow through, and compromise her own expectations for a trip that wasn't even hers to begin with was the nail in the coffin. 

  • "It felt like my grad trip had turned into her ideal vacation."
    via Frank van Hulst For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for ditching my friend on our Europe trip after she refused to commit?"

    I (23F) have been planning a Europe backpacking trip for my graduation. Since most of my close friends are younger and planning their trip next year, I decided to go solo this summer.
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • My friend Avery (22F) casually mentioned she'd love to join me, and I was excited I liked the idea of having company, especially since I've never been to Europe before.
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • From the start, I was doing all the planning. I told her I wanted to go for three weeks, and she said she'd probably only do two, which was fine. My top priorities were France and Italy, but I was
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • open to adjusting. I sent her itineraries, researched hostels, and figured out logistics. She mostly responded with excited TikToks but wasn't actively planning.
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • The biggest issue? Booking the trip. For months, I asked her to book flights, but she kept delaying saying we should book hotels first, or that she needed to check with her parents or sort
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • out her summer job. Last week, I put my foot down and told her that if we wanted to go in early June, we had to book ASAP before prices went up. She promised we'd book that weekend... then nothing happened.
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • On top of that, our travel styles were completely different. I wanted a high-end backpacking trip staying in female-only hostels, meeting new people, and keeping a flexible itinerary. She
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • suddenly decided she was too scared of hostels and only wanted to stay in hotels, which made the trip more expensive. She also insisted on pre-booking every flight, train, and hotel,
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • while I wanted some structure but also the freedom to be spontaneous maybe deciding last-minute to go to Switzerland instead of Croatia, for example.
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • Somehow, between our back- and-forth, we ended up with just Spain and Croatia two places that weren't even on my top list. I
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • wanted to visit multiple countries, but she didn't want to go to Italy and insisted on only two destinations. Her plan was 10 days in Spain and 4 in Croatia, which felt way too slow-paced for me.
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • Cheezburger Image 10483141632
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • At this point, it felt like my grad trip had turned into her ideal vacation. I wanted an exciting, spontaneous adventure one of my last chances to do something
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • crazy before settling into my career. Instead, she was pushing for a structured, rigid trip that felt like something I'd do with my mom or a retired couple.
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • Since she still wouldn't commit, and flights were getting more expensive, I booked my trip alone. When I saw her yesterday, she told me she was finally ready
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • to book. I told her I had already made plans to go solo, and she got really upset saying I hurt her feelings and she couldn't believe I'd do this to her.
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • I feel bad because I know she was excited, but I also gave her months to commit. AITA for booking my trip solo?
    via BlacksmithCharming83
  • ElsieVibrant NTA. You weren't ditching her-you were escaping trip purgatory. She had months to commit and just kept stalling. At some point, you had to choose between waiting forever or actually going on the adventure you wanted. She can plan her dream structured trip next year, and you can live your best spontaneous backpacker life now. Win-win.
    via ElsieVibrant
  • Plastic Chemistry769 NTA, your title makes it sound like you ditched her in a European country, thank god you didn't, you just booked without her, which is completely fine!
    via Plastic_Chemistry769
  • LadyLightTravel NtA. She tried to hijack your trip. She is free to go on the one she wants.
    via LadyLightTravel
  • valbandito NTA. She didn't commit to the trip by not booking the flights. She argues she got her feelings hurt, but also, what about the amount of work you've given and the dismissal on her part by not booking the flights and giving an earlier reply? It's better this way. It wouldn't have worked out even if she ended up going. She wanted a different trip than yours and expected you to accommodate to what she wanted.
    via valbandit0
  • That_Package_9295 NTA. It's one thing to be accommodating to her wants but another to feel like it's not even exciting for you anymore. Like you said, you have different travel styles that don't align. She should understand that you first had it as a solo trip and it might be a bummer for her, but she had to have seen your frustration building.
    via That_Package_9295
  • SliceEquivalent825 NTA She had every opportunity to set this up and didn't. Plus you were compromising your own dream trip. He who hesitates is lost. Have a great time and be safe.
    via SliceEquivalent825

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europe friendship aita friendship advice entitlement AITAH friends askreddit reddit story Travel entitled traveling reddit thread Reddit backpack entitled people friendship feud
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